Are you destined to prevail or fail? Ask yourself these 12 questions to assess the level of risk
Nov 15, 2021When was the last time you felt a little green with envy seeing, reading or hearing about someone else’s success or achievement?
Or perhaps you have recently felt a little red with irritation because you feel as though you should be the one receiving the credit for an idea, a big win or an award.
You certainly aren’t alone in having these thoughts and feelings - but why is it that some people seem destined to prevail and others to fail?
Beliefs and behaviours – you built them
The answer to this question is not that some people have what it takes it to succeed and others do not. It’s not like we have a highflier chip, or a struggle chip inserted at an early age - everyone is born the same. But through childhood development, situations experienced, and the people we meet during our lifetime, we develop behaviours, habits, beliefs and attitudes.
It’s the impact of what you encounter and how you interpret situations with your innermost thoughts, feelings and actions that impact how you perform in life – and consequently, whether you flourish or flop!
Test yourself – are you destined to prevail or fail?
I’ve highlighted 12 questions for you to consider below. Take your time to reflect on the first thoughts that come into your head. If you journal, write down why you think you feel this way, considering any obstacles or challenges you face now or have done in the past. If you don’t journal, seriously think about starting. There’s no time like the present to be present.
This exercise is not to be rushed. Make a cuppa and find a comfortable spot with no distractions. By the end of the activity, it will be evident what side of the fence you are sitting on. The critical takeaway is that you are aware of your thoughts and feelings and can work with them to improve.
Good luck 😃
#1 Do you have a clear optimal intention and vision for your future?
Having a clear vision for your future and being proactive every day in progressing towards that vision are the traits of a go-getter who is destined to succeed. When was the last time you created a vision board and got clear on your dream goals?
Maybe now is the time to start or revisit what you want to achieve (and receive) in the future and move forward with a clear intention.
Get creative. Find photos, scour through magazines, locate stickers and use coloured pens and pencils to create your masterpiece.
#2 Do you have a plan that leads you to gain what you want?
You might not yet know what you want because you’re still searching for your true purpose. It takes time and won’t show itself overnight. Allowing complacency to set in and repeating the narrative around ‘I can’t do this’, ‘it’s not for me’ or ‘that never happens to someone like me’ are clear signs that you have no plan.
Take control of your life and formulate a SMART plan. A roadmap, if you will, that starts the journey to where you need to go and what you need to do to achieve what you want.
If you want that car, start working towards it. Place its photo on your wall. If you want thatholiday, what do you need to do to make it a reality? If you want that house, what needs to change now for you to find the down payment?
Not everybody desires tangible assets. Sometimes what you crave looks like more free time, more quality time or feeling better in yourself.
Think about what it would feel like to experience and own what you want. Harness those feelings and work towards them becoming real.
#3 Do your behaviours align with the outcome you want?
Think carefully about what you do throughout each day. The people you spend time with. The work you do. How you interact with people, places and situations.
What do you enjoy? Are there any tasks that feel like hard work or that you keep putting off? Do certain people seem to rub you up the wrong way while you bounce energetically off every word others speak?
Make regular notes around your thoughts and how you feel about tasks, people and events. What behaviours are you displaying? If you feel negative, lethargic or low in energy, then the chances are you’re not in line with the task at hand. You are not performing in flow, it will be a struggle, creating tension.
Once you become aware of your behaviours, it will be easier to make small incremental changes so that your flow is positively aligned with what you want.
#4 Do you make time to acknowledge and celebrate your wins?
Celebrating wins is a must, no matter how small. Did you win a new client worth £1000s, or did you read a heartfelt letter written by your child? Maybe you found time in your diary to book a day off or you lost a few pounds because of the workout programme you’re following – go you 🙌.
Not observing wins and pooh-poohing them as ‘oh it’s nothing’ harms your ability to see the positives in life.
Celebrating wins keep you optimistic, and you will notice that more positive things happen around you. Welcome victories and successes into your life with open arms and feel them in abundance.
#5 Do you believe making mistakes disadvantages you?
Seeing mistakes as a learning curve is the way to grow from them - an opportunity to make improvements next time or bookmark that option as a no-go.
A mistake does not disadvantage you; it is a process that shows you a less than optimal way of achieving something but also ways to make improvements.
Seeing mistakes as disadvantaging is giving power to the error and makes you feel low. Why would you do that because you can’t change the outcome? Accept it and move on with the knowledge that you now know what not to do.
#6 Do you hang around with people who have achieved more/better (or are more successful) than you?
It’s an age-old adage that you become the average of the five main people you hang around with. Surrounding yourself with successful people will, of course, help you to become more successful because you will be learning from them. Plus, you will have cut ties with negative people who always seem to fail, so their behaviours won’t affect you.
Be curious and ask questions to improve your knowledge and be happy for them when they achieve success.
What goes around comes around and who wants to say no to a dose of success?
#7 Do you set a clear intention for each day?
Set a clear intention for the day ahead. Plan what you need to do and empower yourself with regular breaks, pats on the back and work towards your goals.
Having an intention front of mind is far more motivating than rocking up at the office with an adlib attitude in tow. Focus, chunk up your work and be mindful when you aren’t performing at your best. The same can be said in your personal life too.
Seek out adventure and set an intention for days off and quality time with friends and family. If you intend to spend five hours in front of the TV or gaming, that’s great, but don’t passively partake in something because you can’t be bothered – there’s a difference.
#8 Do you have a morning & evening routine?
What does your morning routine look like? Is it the routine of a winner? Someone who relishes life and is eager to snap up every opportunity that comes their way.
Starting the day with a positive outlook and building positive habits will always be more enjoyable than getting out of bed on the wrong side.
Of course, you will have bad days. When this happens, lean into whatever is causing upset, acknowledge it and take steps to move on. It might be something that still needs to be addressed but wallowing all day never made anyone happier.
At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on what went well, what could have been improved, and where you added value to other people’s lives. Where did you feel in flow and aligned with want you want? Reflecting before you go to sleep is a great way to ensure you empty your head.
Nourishing your mind and body with healthy foods, a relaxing bath or meditation is a great way to calm the mind in the evening. Reaching for a glass of wine, binge-watching overpaid celebrities on beaches and in forests, or scrolling social media has quite the opposite effect!
#9 Do you have boundaries in your personal and business life?
The concept of boundaries is complex. A simple way to look at it is to consider what you feel is acceptable. This can be regarding other people’s behaviour towards you, situations you find yourself in, or an event's outcome.
If you think something isn’t acceptable, why is this the case? Can you pinpoint where the niggling feelings are coming from? Is there anything that triggers emotions from the past? The interesting point is to go one step further and consider whether you are the one doing the accepting even though you consider it unacceptable…
#10 Do you know your strengths?
You have strengths and weaknesses. We all do. Problems occur when you listen to so-called gurus encouraging you to ‘work on your weaknesses’. Why? Why must you work on your weaknesses when you have so many incredible strengths?
How about this for a pattern interrupt? What if you were to focus on your strengths and delegate the tasks that you know you’re less than optimal at (or that you don’t enjoy) to people who love them?
Wouldn’t life be more enjoyable? And you would stop beating yourself up because you can’t do something when you’re probably not meant to be doing it anyway!
Draw up a list of your strengths and focus on making them even more potent because that’s when the magic will happen.
#11 Do you seek help/support when you struggle?
Trying to control everything will never end positively. You were not built to take on the world, so why is it that so many of us try to do everything (err, raising a hand here)?
When you are struggling, the best thing to do is seek help from others who can do it for you or guide you through the best way to help you accomplish what you need.
Learning new skills should be an enjoyable experience – otherwise, you weren’t meant to do it. Overcoming obstacles may test you, but the outcome on the other side is compelling.
There is no weakness in showing vulnerability and asking for help. If anything, people will jump at the chance to help you. Try it and see what response you get.
#12 Do you set and keep to your own rules?
When you view rules as self-discipline and not as constraints, they take on a new meaning. Rules are helpful and put boundaries in place for interactions and transactions to take place safely and logically.
Setting rules and adhering to them in business and life helps to guide you. Rules create positive processes and set you up to progress and achieve want you want.
Having no rules or breaking your own rules is a symptom of low self-worth - a sign of disregard and lacking morals.
Setting rules and sticking to them shows that you live with compassion, have standards in life and respect others. It’s also a compelling trait for others to see in you.
How did you fair?
If you’re new to some of the concepts discussed or have answered no to the questions posed, then it might be that you would benefit from clearing out some of the ‘life baggage’ acquired in business and life.
Seek help and support from the people you trust or invest in guidance from a qualified freedom finder to work with you on a 1-2-1 basis or in group settings to gain real value on how to prevail, not fail.
